Lessons Learned

Lessons Learned

Carol Condon

www.carolcondon.com

Going to school and being taught the required academic “lessons” is not an optional choice in our country.  However, in many cases the lessons taught at home have been. I was blessed and privileged to grow up in a home where lessons taught were not an option. In addition, learning the lessons was not an option either.

Today on what would have been my Dad’s 92^nd birthday I dedicate my “Lessons Learned” to his memory.

My parents were amazing. There were so many lessons taught in our home. Love was one of those. My parents loved each other so much. Their love for the six of us siblings, although very different in personality, was given unconditionally. Then came the lesson of respect. That was an easy one. However, it was a lesson that was not optional. In my 22 years of living under their roof I never remember hearing my Mom or my Dad disrespect each other by having shouting matches laced with sarcasm and name calling and they provided the same level of respect to each of us.  

Obedience was expected at all times and not just when comfortable to do so.  “Why?” was a question that was not welcomed nor often answered. Faithful church attendance and giving coupled with a Godly lifestyle were taught by example 24 hours a day. We were taught true patriotism and that it was a privilege to live in America, the land in which my dad nearly lost his life defending. Giving was a natural thing to do in both finances and in acts of service. The “supper table” was a very special place that we all met at each night and shared our day not our complaints.  I never remember a day that my dad just took off work for the sake of having a day off. A lesson we all learned was proper work ethics.

Probably one of the harder lessons for me to learn was Dad’s definition of being on time. On time for him was 30 minutes early and late was 29 minutes early.  See what I mean? I guess that was one lesson I never quite mastered and it never ceased to frustrate him. Dad never taught us to sing or to clap our hands. Rhythm and pitch were never one of his strong points. However, he did teach us to worship!

The last lesson I learned from Dad was just a couple weeks before he passed away.  He looked over at me and asked if I knew that you could witness to others without ever saying a word. He then went on to share a story that proved that very “lesson” as a truth.

Now that I have lived 5 years without him I ache at no longer being able to sit with him and learn the many lessons that he still had within him to teach. However, I am doing my best to follow his lead and pass my “Lessons Learned” down to my children.

Happy Birthday, Dad. You are still changing lives as we make the choice to live “your” lessons learned.

Bullying Hurts

Bullying Hurts

Carol Condon

carolcondon5@aol.com

The young student was trying to fit in but that was not going so well. His mom and dad were great people but lived very busy lives. He took their busyness as a failure to fit into their schedule and even wondered if he was wanted or just a responsibility. Were they committed to him or did they truly love and want him? He just couldn’t be sure.

His time in school was even worse. He did not have enough self-esteem to even try to fit in. Most of his time was spent dodging the hurtful remarks that were hurled in his direction when the “in” students were present. His daydreams were filled with hopeful days of when he finally fit in.  Would those days ever come? He had been called more names than he could count. The “accidental” occasions where he was tripped and shoved added to his already painful existence.

When I heard his story I wanted a chance to go to his parents and paint them a picture of what their actions or even their lack of actions looked like. I wanted to go into his school and grab all the students who spent their free time bullying those who didn’t fit into the acceptable mold and teach them a much-needed lesson.

Bullying hurts and can ultimately change someone forever. Bullying occurs when a person uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker. By definition this means that weak and defenseless students are not the only victims. Our homes, places of employment, and sadly our churches have their own set of bullies. Those holding the authority over others have the opportunity to intimidate those in a weaker position and this hurts. However, what if intimidation was put away and was replaced by humility and patience? I am pretty sure this would be found pleasing in His sight.

Ephesians 4:2 NLT

Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.

The Silenced Flame

The Silenced Flame
Carol Condon
carolcondon5@aol.com

Our calendar was looking like a doodle pad.  Each day was scheduled and some days were over scheduled.  It would have been nice to have had a "holiday administrator" who would have handed out a detailed schedule each morning.  However, since we didn't have one, most days resulted in chaos, but even chaos when it includes family is fun.

One thing that I was looking forward to was the Christmas Party at our home.  There were tasks that needed done in order to make the evening a success. These tasks included everything from grocery store runs and house cleaning to cooking and giving the dog a bath. Once these were completed and we had made a fire in the fire place and lit the candles we were ready for our guests.

It was such a special night.  The stories, laughter and singing made the work of the day so worth it.  Once everyone had left I began picking up the remnants of the party. I had turned off most of the lights leaving the fireplace and candles lit bringing a soft glow to the room as I reminisced of our successful evening.  As I finished cleaning the last dish I went to blow out the candles.  I simply placed a lid on each one.  I watched as the flame gradually dimmed until it no longer flickered. The realization hit me that the flame was silenced until someone took the time to light again.

I began to think of all the people God had trusted to my leadership.  Did I ever try to smother their flame?  Were they full of ideas that were uncomfortable for me or a little too far out of my comfort zone resulting in me placing a lid on them? Just as a candle will sit and never shine until someone reaches out to light it so will those who have had their flame silenced. What if we began looking for the people who are bent over with the heaviness of life, unfulfilled dreams, hurts of the past, hurts of the present, or the over zealous spirit that has been squashed and we lifted them up with a kind word or deed allowing them to shine again? Do they have the strength within themselves to get back up or are they waiting for you or me?

"Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad."
Proverbs 12:25 KJV

The Wish List

The Wish List
Carol Condon
www.carolcondon.com


The smooth covers were creased, worn, and in some places even torn.  Markers of many colors left bold circles throughout the catalog with an initial added claiming each "wish circle" as their own.  As the mail carrier arrived each day during the Christmas season the kids eagerly waited to search through the wonderland of every toy company's advertisement of their weekly specials.

As parents we have all been guilty of reminding our children that they better be good. Christmas is just around the corner. We have even whispered, "You better watch out you, you better not cry, you better not pout……"  They quickly sober and go back to scouring the pictures of treasures that are only a store away.  The wish list has grown to quite the length by shopping day.  Even "things" containing heart beats have been added.  To the shock and amazement of parents there nestled among the toy train and dolly set the shocking wishes of a new puppy and baby sister.

Reminders have been given to children all over the world.  They go something like this, "Honey, you know we can't get you everything you wish for." "Mommy and Daddy do not own the bank." We have even handed them a blank piece of paper and told them, "Here, you need to start your wish list all over and be a little more reasonable."

As Christians we have the "Catalog" of all catalogs.  It arrived many, many years ago and the price is still current but has already been paid.  In the pages lay so many items just waiting to be circled, initialed and added to the "wish list."

There are so many sections.  You need comfort? Psalm 55:22 "Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved."
You need strength? Isaiah 40:29 "He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength."
Has grief overtaken you? Isaiah 25:8 "He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from off all faces."
Do you struggle with fear? How about this "item" Isaiah 41:13 For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee."
Are your cupboards bare? No worries, Matthew 6:31,32 "Therefore take no thought saying, What shall we eat? or What shall we drink: or Wherewithal shall we be clothed? For your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things." Do you feel lost? Easy directions, Proverbs 3:6 "In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."
Need salvation Acts 2:39 " For the promise is unto you, and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call."
Need joy?  He has that in stock! Psalm 16:11 Thou wilt shew me the path of life; in thy presence is fulness of joy; at they right hand there are pleasure for evermore."  Are you lonely?  He is there for you. Isaiah 58:9 "Then shalt thou call, and he shall say, Here I am."

Why do we live without when He has a full inventory that is paid for and just waiting to be picked up? Take out your marker today and begin circling His promises.  Make your wish list.  I promise you that He won't be out of stock.  There is nothing too expensive and He will never throw your wishes away and tell you to start over.  He won't even make you wait until December 25 to open them! 

Spilled Milk

Spilled Milk
Carol Condon
www.carolcondon.com


It was going to be a special morning because I was having a breakfast date with my husband, who happens to be my best friend. Mark meets his mornings by leaping out of bed and greeting his new day with as much noise as possible.  I, on the other hand, will ever so slowly peek between my eyelids and then close my eyes being very thankful for a new day.  It is safe to say that I ease into my mornings while Mark jumps right in before his eyes are even open.  However, getting to spend quality time together was worth leaping into this particular morning.

We were seated at one of our local breakfast establishments enjoying being with each other. Our table was next to the kitchen and Mark and I were observing how busy the waitresses were taking, filling and delivering orders to their guests. There was one waitress who rounded the corner when a cup of milk tipped and slashed over her tray onto the floor.  She glanced at the spilled milk and kept on going.  A few moments later she returned to the kitchen to fill her tray with meals for another table. She glanced back down at the milk on the floor and continued walking by. 

A family was being led to their table. I noticed they had a little boy who was walking with one of his shoes untied and the laces trailed right through the spilled milk.  Since we did not have a cloth to clean it up, we kept an eye on the spill to make sure no one slipped.  After a few minutes a different waitress walked by and noticed the spilled milk. She quickly bent over and wiped it up. 

I got to thinking about all the "spills" we have in life.  So many times it is easier to walk on by rather than take the energy to clean it up. A lot of our messes are classified as "not our fault" so we just walk on by assuming that someone else will clean it up.  However, our "spilled milk"  may be the very thing that those following us walk through and end up stained, or even worse, they slip and fall.  We have the ability to either be a support or a stumbling block. What is your choice? 


I Corinthians 8:9 NLV
But take heed lest by any means this liberty of yours become a stumblingblock to them that are weak.

I Thessalonians 5:11 NLV
So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.

 

Born a First

Born a First

Carol Condon

www.carolcondon.com

As an 8 year old It seemed like forever waiting for the special baby that would officially make me "Aunt Carol."  When the call came that my first niece had finally arrived I couldn't wait to get to her.  I vividly remember the day my parents drove my younger brother and I to my sister's house. I walked straight to the white, wicker bassinet to see the little piece of creation that would become the first for many.

Tamara was soon shortened to "Tami" as she was affectionately called by most of her family and friends.  She was full of life and very little of her antics and accomplishments went unnoticed as she was the firstborn, the first grandchild, and the first niece. Tami proudly bore the title of "first".  In fact, I would say she loved being the first.  Her only sibling, Chad,  was born ten years later.  Chad would probably say she had an identity crisis and perceived herself to be more of a mom than a sister to him.  All of the cousins that followed her birth were quite aware of Tami and the tabs that she kept on them.  Although they were annoyed from time to time at being caught and called out, I have no doubt they felt loved, cherished and knew that Tami had their backs.

Tami graduated from high school and left for Indiana Bible College.  After becoming a college graduate she came home, fell in love and got married. The night before her wedding she injured her leg which signified the beginning of her journey with the disease of Lupus.  This horrific disease left very little of Tami's body untouched.  However, it never stopped her song or her smile.  She loved to sing and she blessed many with her beautiful voice.  Even when her body was so racked with pain, she ministered without complaint.

The doctors delivered the painful news that she would never be able to have children. This rocked her world as she so desperately wanted to become a mom.  This did not stop her. She proceeded on to research every way, within their budget, to have a child.  Tami and David became licensed foster parents and over time became parents to four precious children.  Her song was not silenced, her joy was not extinguished and her dream became reality.  She teamed up with Jesus and kept on this journey that seemed so unfair to all of us watching and praying.

On Sunday morning, three years ago today, I was on the platform of Turnpoint Church leading in worship with our worship team.  As I went to my seat, I looked at my phone and my heart began racing as I read the text that Tami needed prayer ASAP.  I ran out of the church and began grabbing people to pray with me. I must confess, I went from praying to begging God in a quick hurry.  However, within about 15 minutes I received a simple text of just two words, "She's gone."  

Tami who was the first in so much had one more 'first" that she brought to us by her death.  I honor her today for being the brave young lady that she was.  I do not know if I have ever met someone who has lived with more physical and mental pain as my sweet niece, yet I can honestly say that I never heard one complaint.  To my knowledge she was never asked to sing that she did not muster the strength to do so.  In fact, one of the final services she sang in she physically could not make it onto the platform so a cordless microphone was brought to her and her song went on. 

Today, I request your prayers for my sister and her family as well as these four precious children that miss their mama so much. There is no answer to give to the question that continues to haunt them, yet they still believe.

A Table for Two

A Table for Two
Carol Condon
www.carolcondon5@aol.com


All throughout the year we dream and plan for when our family's calendar reaches the long awaited for days of vacation. The time where we put reality under lock down and unpack for days of relaxation and quality family time as we renew and refresh enabling ourselves to go back equipped to unlock reality and carry on our journey.  

It was toward the middle of our vacation when we stopped in a small southern town for some of their local chicken and biscuits.  We carried our trays to the table and bowed our heads for prayer over our meal. As I raised my head I noticed an older gentleman walking to a table carrying a tray that held a single meal. My heart instantly hurt. I just can't stand to see the elderly eating alone. I moaned an,"Ohhhh dear, he's eating alone." When my family turned and saw him they immediately told me to go invite him to our table as we were only five sitting at a table for six. I saw that they truly didn't mind sharing our family time with a stranger so I walked over to the older gentleman and invited him to join us for lunch. He took his hand and laid it on my arm as tears filled his eyes. He thanked me over and over but simply said, "My wife died." No other words. He choose to sit alone and I respected his wishes. I made it back to my seat but my tears turned into a sob and I had to excused myself in order to pull myself together.

His watering eyes spoke volumes to me. I questioned myself if this was their special spot that they stopped each Sunday afternoon following their morning worship service. Was this table their regular table? Was he reliving all the conversations they shared over their many years together? Were there regrets? Were there unspoken words? As I cleared our table to leave I glanced over to him and he simply smiled.

I couldn't help but think of how many are sitting alone unnoticed at a table or in only one of the two rocking chairs that occupy their front porch. Even though this gentleman's grief was too new to share with strangers his eyes spoke of his thankfulness at being noticed instead of sitting invisible to others. I repent for all the times I have purposefully turned from those that I could have shown kindness to but didn't really want to have my privacy invaded with strangers that were "most likely" content to sit alone visiting with their memories. We all search for His will in our lives but His will for everyone is to love one another showing them kindness that happens to be free for everyone to give.

Will you take the time to notice?

"Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honor preferring one another."
Romans 12:10